Part 1/4: flattopSF’s Top Ten Super-Gay Reasons He’s Not A Mormon Anymore

1. Does anything they believe make any sense? Fourteen-year-old sees doG the Father, Jeebus H. Christ, and Casper the Holy Ghost? Riiiiiiiight. Eternal Polygamy Math, anyone? 1+ 34 = Prophet! (And Mormons accuse teh gheyz of being promiscuous?!? Sheesh!) Here’s some Free Agency: I want some of whatever Smith was smokin’. It musta been good.

2. God? doG? Either way you look at “him,” anything that demands THAT much devotion from you and gives absolutely nothing back is seriously dysfunctional. See a psychologist and learn to develop REAL relationships.

3. Because who needs to live their life according to what some pathetic bigoted murderous old redneck corporate thugs 1,500 miles away dictate? Shove a cricket-choked seagull up your collective puckers, @$$-holy-O douchebags.

4. Because there are a lot of better things to do with 10% of your hard-earned income. Shopping and lunch, anyone?

5. Because let's face it: churchchurchchurchchurchchurchchurchchurch seven days a week is not only mind-numbingly boring, it leaves you no time to have a life. When do they even have time to fuckin' fuck and make all those kids?

6. Because those temple clothes are a really big fashion don’t. Really. Big. Faux Greek Baker meets Fig Leaf? It looks Too-pud on thin people and it looks Poppin’ Fresh on tubby ones. Eew. If that's the celestial garb, send me to hell now. I'll take a stark-naked real-live Greek any day of the week, thanks.

7. Because any group of people who would censor a Rodin sculpture and call it pornographic are uncultured rubes at best and idiot hillbilly philistines at worst.

8. Because Mormon women are simply way too conflicted to mold into adequate fag-hags.

9. Because Mormon men are so infected with the Power of their Holey Penishood that they‘re knuckle-draggingly unattractive in every way. (OMG, how superficial was that?)

10. Because I'm gay. If that ain't good enough for them, well too fuckin’ bad.

Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly,
flattopSF loves another gay man, no lie.
Won‘t stop lovin’ that man o‘ mine.

8^D

Ed. Created by Kerry Rutz.

Prop 8 and The Mormon Church

California is one of many states that allows voters to write legislation and change the state constitution through the initiative or proposition process. Sounds like democracy in action, right? Wrong. Wealthy interest groups or individuals, often out of state (e.g. Ward Connerly's meddling in Michigan and Washington State), bankroll these initiatives and propositions: it's not like Joe Blow down the street usually has the time, inclination, money or know-how when it comes to putting propositions on the ballot. Big money and special interests are almost always at work.

The precursor to Proposition 8 was Proposition 22 enacted in 2000, and invalidated by the California Supreme Court as unconstitutional in May 2008. Prop 8 was introduced to change the state constitution so that GLBTQ Californians could no longer have marriage equality. Prop 8 passed in November 2008 and was upheld by the California Supreme Court on May 25, 2009, but all of California's same-sex couples who were wed before Prop 8 went into effect are still legally married.

There is currently a federal case, Perry v. Schwarzenegger, before the US District Court. Pam's House Blend is providing spectacular coverage and analysis of the case as it unfolds.

The following letter was sent from the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (that's them up there) to Church leaders in California to be read to all congregations on 29 June 2008 in preparation for the vote on Prop 8:

Preserving Traditional Marriage and Strengthening Families

In March 2000 California voters overwhelmingly approved a state law providing that ‘Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.’ The California Supreme Court recently reversed this vote of the people. On November 4, 2008, Californians will vote on a proposed amendment to the California state constitution that will now restore the March 2000 definition of marriage approved by the voters. The Church’s teachings and position on this moral issue are unequivocal. Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, and the formation of families is central to the Creator’s plan for His children. Children are entitled to be born within this bond of marriage. A broad-based coalition of churches and other organizations placed the proposed amendment on the ballot. The Church will participate with this coalition in seeking its passage. Local Church leaders will provide information about how you may become involved in this important cause. We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time to assure that marriage in California is legally defined as being between a man and a woman. Our best efforts are required to preserve the sacred institution of marriage.

Mormons were more than happy to answer the call to arms. Although Mormons constitute roughly 2% of the Californian population, it's "estimated that Mormons made up 80 percent to 90 percent of the early volunteers who walked door-to-door in election precincts." Mormons didn't just give of their time, they gave money, too: "In the end, Protect Marriage estimates, as much as half of the nearly $40 million raised on behalf of the measure was contributed by Mormons." Utah led out-of-state contributions to ProtectMarriage.com.

Want to learn about some more Mormon meddling political asshattery? Then click here.

What Do Head Honcho Mormons Say about GLBTQIA Members?

Spencer W. Kimball (dead LDS Prophet, Seer and Revelator) promised that if you masturbate, you'll evolve into a homosexual:

Prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation. It induces feelings of guilt and shame. It is detrimental to spirituality. It indicates slavery to the flesh, not that mastery of it and the growth toward godhood which is the object of our mortal life. Our modern prophet has indicated that no young man should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice. What is more, it too often leads to grievous sin, even to that sin against nature, homosexuality. For, done in private, it evolves often into mutual masturbation-practiced with another person of the same sex and thence into total homosexuality....

The Miracle of Forgiveness, 1969, pp. 77-79, 81-82.


More Spencer (kick out the gays):

Let it therefore be clearly stated that the seriousness of the sin of homosexuality is equal to or greater than that of fornication or adultery; and that the Lord’s Church will as readily take action to disfellowship or excommunicate the unrepentant practicing homosexual as it will the unrepentant fornicator or adulterer

The Miracle of Forgiveness, 1969, pp. 81–82; italics in original.


And yet more Spencer -- here he recommends the death penalty for homosexuality:

I do not find in the Bible the modern terms "petting" nor "homosexuality," yet I found numerous scriptures which forbade such acts under by whatever names they might be called. I could not find the term "homosexuality," but I did find numerous places where the Lord condemned such a practice with such vigor that even the death penalty was assessed.

"Love Versus Lust," BYU Devotional Speech, January 5, 1965


Guess who! Spencer warns that homosexuals are looking for converts:

Homosexuality is an ugly sin, but because of its prevalence, the need to warn the uninitiated, and the desire to help those who may already be involved with it, it must be brought into the open.

Can't get enough Spencer? Here civilization is going down the shitter because of homosexuality:

This heinous homosexual sin is of the ages. Many cities and civilizations have gone out of existence because of it.7

Boyd Packer (President of those 12 Quorum guys) on gay bashing -- it's encouraged because those gays are asking for it:

After patient encouragement he finally blurted out, "I hit my companion."

"Oh, is that all," I said in great relief.

"But I floored him," he said.

After learning a little more, my response was "Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn't be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way."

I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself.

There is a falsehood that some are born with an attraction to their own kind, with nothing they can do about it. They are just "that way" and can only yield to those desires. That is a malicious and destructive lie. While it is a convincing idea to some, it is of the devil. No one is locked into that kind of life. From our premortal life we were directed into a physical body. There is no mismatching of bodies and spirits. Boys are to become men—masculine, manly men—ultimately to become husbands and fathers. No one is predestined to a perverted use of these powers.

"To Young Men Only," General Conference Priesthood Session, October 2, 1976.



Elder Richard G. Scott (one of those 12 Quorum guys) -- extramarital sex will turn you into a homosexual:

However, those intimate acts are forbidden by the Lord outside the enduring commitment of marriage because they undermine His purposes. 7 Within the sacred covenant of marriage, such relationships are according to His plan. When experienced any other way, they are against His will. They cause serious emotional and spiritual harm. Even though participants do not realize that is happening now, they will later.

Sexual immorality creates a barrier to the influence of the Holy Spirit with all its uplifting, enlightening, and empowering capabilities. It causes powerful physical and emotional stimulation. In time that creates an unquenchable appetite that drives the offender to ever more serious sin. It engenders selfishness and can produce aggressive acts such as brutality, abortion, sexual abuse, and violent crime. Such stimulation can lead to acts of homosexuality, and they are evil and absolutely wrong. 8

Kaye T. Hanson (I have no idea who she is) defines "sex perversion":

The Lord specifically forbids certain behaviors, including all sexual relations before marriage, petting, sex perversion (such as homosexuality, rape, and incest), masturbation, or preoccupation with sex in thought, speech, or action”

(FSOY, 14–15)

Asshats.