Part 2/4: You're not the boss of me. I am.

Mormons tell me that if I run my life their way and succeed a little it’s through no virtue of my own: it’s because their god favored me. And I should have tried harder anyway. But if I run my life their way and fail it’s my own fault: I’m not worthy of success. Fucked without a kiss if I do, and fucked without a kiss if I don't. Subtext is everything when it comes to trying to understand the Mormon church.

Here’s what happened before I came out of the closet:

I sat through 23 years of Mormon Sacrament Meetings, Stake Conferences, and General Conference broadcasts during which I was gently and regularly reminded that people like me need to be beaten up for my own good (Packer. To Young Men Only. General Conference Priesthood Session, October 2, 1976). That loving another man made me worse than a murderer (Kimball. Miracle of Forgiveness. Bookcraft, 1969). That I was better off dead (Kimball. Love Versus Lust. BYU Devotional, January 5, 1965).

My TBM older brother figured me out. Three times before I was 23 he tried to kill me with his fists, on the advice of the aforementioned church leaders. He failed. I guess his Mormon doG wasn't guiding his fists. I guess he must have been unworthy. Mormon doG works that way, you know. Pity. I decided I didn’t need to acknowledge TBM older brother's Pre-existence, his Present-existence, or his Post-existence. At all.

Here’s what happened after I came out of the closet:

My TBM mother went into deep-space orbit. We could send a NASA probe to Uranus a lot faster if we'd tied the spaceship to her anus. Tantrums. Pouting. More tantrums. Attempted manipulation. More tantrums. Whatever.

My TBM younger brother ran hot-and-cold for 15 years on whether I was an asset or a liability to his pathetic dating life. Can we say “conflicted”? After I paid for his wedding, I got dissed. Something about his new wife thinking “gay” was contagious.

Shunned or avoided by 90% of the Mormons I knew, even when I saw them on the street which was thankfully not often. I became the object of gossip and conjecture! I’m so glad I later had the opportunity to experience all the things they were saying I’d done already.

One TBM “friend” claimed "it doesn't matter!" Then she assumed that quitting the church and coming out of the closet meant I suddenly had no moral standards whatsoever, and took huge liberties with my generosity after she got herself unemployed, bankrupted, repossessed, and evicted. My response: "No, I can’t pay your bills for you. Especially since you're already living under my roof rent-free, eating my food and not contributing, and bar-hopping all night with your girlfriends, while I make sure your seventeen year-old son gets to work and school on time every morning. Buh-bye!"

Another TBM “friend” and his family re-edited all our conversations inside their own heads: apparently the word "gay" was miraculously blocked at the eardrum as they tried to emotionally blackmail me back into the church. They introduced me to several BYU co-eds under the assumption that one of them would instantly "cure" me. Failing that, he informed me that my lack of cooperation with his method of spiritual guidance was making him look bad to his kids. What the hell?!?
<<click. dial tone>>

8^D


Ed. Created by Kerry Rutz.

Part 1/4: flattopSF’s Top Ten Super-Gay Reasons He’s Not A Mormon Anymore

1. Does anything they believe make any sense? Fourteen-year-old sees doG the Father, Jeebus H. Christ, and Casper the Holy Ghost? Riiiiiiiight. Eternal Polygamy Math, anyone? 1+ 34 = Prophet! (And Mormons accuse teh gheyz of being promiscuous?!? Sheesh!) Here’s some Free Agency: I want some of whatever Smith was smokin’. It musta been good.

2. God? doG? Either way you look at “him,” anything that demands THAT much devotion from you and gives absolutely nothing back is seriously dysfunctional. See a psychologist and learn to develop REAL relationships.

3. Because who needs to live their life according to what some pathetic bigoted murderous old redneck corporate thugs 1,500 miles away dictate? Shove a cricket-choked seagull up your collective puckers, @$$-holy-O douchebags.

4. Because there are a lot of better things to do with 10% of your hard-earned income. Shopping and lunch, anyone?

5. Because let's face it: churchchurchchurchchurchchurchchurchchurch seven days a week is not only mind-numbingly boring, it leaves you no time to have a life. When do they even have time to fuckin' fuck and make all those kids?

6. Because those temple clothes are a really big fashion don’t. Really. Big. Faux Greek Baker meets Fig Leaf? It looks Too-pud on thin people and it looks Poppin’ Fresh on tubby ones. Eew. If that's the celestial garb, send me to hell now. I'll take a stark-naked real-live Greek any day of the week, thanks.

7. Because any group of people who would censor a Rodin sculpture and call it pornographic are uncultured rubes at best and idiot hillbilly philistines at worst.

8. Because Mormon women are simply way too conflicted to mold into adequate fag-hags.

9. Because Mormon men are so infected with the Power of their Holey Penishood that they‘re knuckle-draggingly unattractive in every way. (OMG, how superficial was that?)

10. Because I'm gay. If that ain't good enough for them, well too fuckin’ bad.

Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly,
flattopSF loves another gay man, no lie.
Won‘t stop lovin’ that man o‘ mine.

8^D

Ed. Created by Kerry Rutz.

What Do Head Honcho Mormons Say about GLBTQIA Members?

Spencer W. Kimball (dead LDS Prophet, Seer and Revelator) promised that if you masturbate, you'll evolve into a homosexual:

Prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation. It induces feelings of guilt and shame. It is detrimental to spirituality. It indicates slavery to the flesh, not that mastery of it and the growth toward godhood which is the object of our mortal life. Our modern prophet has indicated that no young man should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice. What is more, it too often leads to grievous sin, even to that sin against nature, homosexuality. For, done in private, it evolves often into mutual masturbation-practiced with another person of the same sex and thence into total homosexuality....

The Miracle of Forgiveness, 1969, pp. 77-79, 81-82.


More Spencer (kick out the gays):

Let it therefore be clearly stated that the seriousness of the sin of homosexuality is equal to or greater than that of fornication or adultery; and that the Lord’s Church will as readily take action to disfellowship or excommunicate the unrepentant practicing homosexual as it will the unrepentant fornicator or adulterer

The Miracle of Forgiveness, 1969, pp. 81–82; italics in original.


And yet more Spencer -- here he recommends the death penalty for homosexuality:

I do not find in the Bible the modern terms "petting" nor "homosexuality," yet I found numerous scriptures which forbade such acts under by whatever names they might be called. I could not find the term "homosexuality," but I did find numerous places where the Lord condemned such a practice with such vigor that even the death penalty was assessed.

"Love Versus Lust," BYU Devotional Speech, January 5, 1965


Guess who! Spencer warns that homosexuals are looking for converts:

Homosexuality is an ugly sin, but because of its prevalence, the need to warn the uninitiated, and the desire to help those who may already be involved with it, it must be brought into the open.

Can't get enough Spencer? Here civilization is going down the shitter because of homosexuality:

This heinous homosexual sin is of the ages. Many cities and civilizations have gone out of existence because of it.7

Boyd Packer (President of those 12 Quorum guys) on gay bashing -- it's encouraged because those gays are asking for it:

After patient encouragement he finally blurted out, "I hit my companion."

"Oh, is that all," I said in great relief.

"But I floored him," he said.

After learning a little more, my response was "Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn't be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way."

I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself.

There is a falsehood that some are born with an attraction to their own kind, with nothing they can do about it. They are just "that way" and can only yield to those desires. That is a malicious and destructive lie. While it is a convincing idea to some, it is of the devil. No one is locked into that kind of life. From our premortal life we were directed into a physical body. There is no mismatching of bodies and spirits. Boys are to become men—masculine, manly men—ultimately to become husbands and fathers. No one is predestined to a perverted use of these powers.

"To Young Men Only," General Conference Priesthood Session, October 2, 1976.



Elder Richard G. Scott (one of those 12 Quorum guys) -- extramarital sex will turn you into a homosexual:

However, those intimate acts are forbidden by the Lord outside the enduring commitment of marriage because they undermine His purposes. 7 Within the sacred covenant of marriage, such relationships are according to His plan. When experienced any other way, they are against His will. They cause serious emotional and spiritual harm. Even though participants do not realize that is happening now, they will later.

Sexual immorality creates a barrier to the influence of the Holy Spirit with all its uplifting, enlightening, and empowering capabilities. It causes powerful physical and emotional stimulation. In time that creates an unquenchable appetite that drives the offender to ever more serious sin. It engenders selfishness and can produce aggressive acts such as brutality, abortion, sexual abuse, and violent crime. Such stimulation can lead to acts of homosexuality, and they are evil and absolutely wrong. 8

Kaye T. Hanson (I have no idea who she is) defines "sex perversion":

The Lord specifically forbids certain behaviors, including all sexual relations before marriage, petting, sex perversion (such as homosexuality, rape, and incest), masturbation, or preoccupation with sex in thought, speech, or action”

(FSOY, 14–15)

Asshats.