Part 1/4: flattopSF’s Top Ten Super-Gay Reasons He’s Not A Mormon Anymore

1. Does anything they believe make any sense? Fourteen-year-old sees doG the Father, Jeebus H. Christ, and Casper the Holy Ghost? Riiiiiiiight. Eternal Polygamy Math, anyone? 1+ 34 = Prophet! (And Mormons accuse teh gheyz of being promiscuous?!? Sheesh!) Here’s some Free Agency: I want some of whatever Smith was smokin’. It musta been good.

2. God? doG? Either way you look at “him,” anything that demands THAT much devotion from you and gives absolutely nothing back is seriously dysfunctional. See a psychologist and learn to develop REAL relationships.

3. Because who needs to live their life according to what some pathetic bigoted murderous old redneck corporate thugs 1,500 miles away dictate? Shove a cricket-choked seagull up your collective puckers, @$$-holy-O douchebags.

4. Because there are a lot of better things to do with 10% of your hard-earned income. Shopping and lunch, anyone?

5. Because let's face it: churchchurchchurchchurchchurchchurchchurch seven days a week is not only mind-numbingly boring, it leaves you no time to have a life. When do they even have time to fuckin' fuck and make all those kids?

6. Because those temple clothes are a really big fashion don’t. Really. Big. Faux Greek Baker meets Fig Leaf? It looks Too-pud on thin people and it looks Poppin’ Fresh on tubby ones. Eew. If that's the celestial garb, send me to hell now. I'll take a stark-naked real-live Greek any day of the week, thanks.

7. Because any group of people who would censor a Rodin sculpture and call it pornographic are uncultured rubes at best and idiot hillbilly philistines at worst.

8. Because Mormon women are simply way too conflicted to mold into adequate fag-hags.

9. Because Mormon men are so infected with the Power of their Holey Penishood that they‘re knuckle-draggingly unattractive in every way. (OMG, how superficial was that?)

10. Because I'm gay. If that ain't good enough for them, well too fuckin’ bad.

Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly,
flattopSF loves another gay man, no lie.
Won‘t stop lovin’ that man o‘ mine.

8^D

Ed. Created by Kerry Rutz.

Prop 8 and The Mormon Church

California is one of many states that allows voters to write legislation and change the state constitution through the initiative or proposition process. Sounds like democracy in action, right? Wrong. Wealthy interest groups or individuals, often out of state (e.g. Ward Connerly's meddling in Michigan and Washington State), bankroll these initiatives and propositions: it's not like Joe Blow down the street usually has the time, inclination, money or know-how when it comes to putting propositions on the ballot. Big money and special interests are almost always at work.

The precursor to Proposition 8 was Proposition 22 enacted in 2000, and invalidated by the California Supreme Court as unconstitutional in May 2008. Prop 8 was introduced to change the state constitution so that GLBTQ Californians could no longer have marriage equality. Prop 8 passed in November 2008 and was upheld by the California Supreme Court on May 25, 2009, but all of California's same-sex couples who were wed before Prop 8 went into effect are still legally married.

There is currently a federal case, Perry v. Schwarzenegger, before the US District Court. Pam's House Blend is providing spectacular coverage and analysis of the case as it unfolds.

The following letter was sent from the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (that's them up there) to Church leaders in California to be read to all congregations on 29 June 2008 in preparation for the vote on Prop 8:

Preserving Traditional Marriage and Strengthening Families

In March 2000 California voters overwhelmingly approved a state law providing that ‘Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.’ The California Supreme Court recently reversed this vote of the people. On November 4, 2008, Californians will vote on a proposed amendment to the California state constitution that will now restore the March 2000 definition of marriage approved by the voters. The Church’s teachings and position on this moral issue are unequivocal. Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, and the formation of families is central to the Creator’s plan for His children. Children are entitled to be born within this bond of marriage. A broad-based coalition of churches and other organizations placed the proposed amendment on the ballot. The Church will participate with this coalition in seeking its passage. Local Church leaders will provide information about how you may become involved in this important cause. We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time to assure that marriage in California is legally defined as being between a man and a woman. Our best efforts are required to preserve the sacred institution of marriage.

Mormons were more than happy to answer the call to arms. Although Mormons constitute roughly 2% of the Californian population, it's "estimated that Mormons made up 80 percent to 90 percent of the early volunteers who walked door-to-door in election precincts." Mormons didn't just give of their time, they gave money, too: "In the end, Protect Marriage estimates, as much as half of the nearly $40 million raised on behalf of the measure was contributed by Mormons." Utah led out-of-state contributions to ProtectMarriage.com.

Want to learn about some more Mormon meddling political asshattery? Then click here.

Welcome to GLBTQIA Day: Celebrating Nearly 180 Years of Mormon Homophobia, Bigotry and Violence!

But first, your morning dose of Boop (I scratched him, then he scratched me, but I'm the only one bleeding):



Thanks for joining us for our second weekly installment detailing 180 years of Mormon asshattery and dumbfuckery! Last week on "Lamanite" Day, we established that Mormonism is fundamentally based on racism. (We only addressed the racist tenets held about Native Americans and Pacific Islanders -- we will be addressing racism directed at Africans and people of African descent in the near future.)

In addition to being fundamentally based on racism, Mormonism is also fundamentally based on sex. Now, there's nothing new about a religion telling you whom you may fuck and in what position said fucking must occur, and many religions tell you that God doesn't like you very much if you're not a 0 on the Kinsey scale. But Mormonism takes sex to a whole 'nuther level that could possibly only be matched by those wacky Raëlians. Joseph Smith, Jr. liked sex. A lot. I mean, he liked sex so much that he was married to at least 30 women at the same time, and some of them were already married to other living dudes.

Now I'm not going to fault Old Horny Joe for enjoying sexual encounters with multiple sex partners -- that's the one thing we have in common. What I am going to call him out on is basing exaltation on being a temple-married breeder, and on Misogyny Day, we'll talk about how Smith married underage girls -- two of them 14 years old.

But today we'll be discussing a wide range of topics w/r/t Mormonism and GLBTQIA (although Mormonism really only recognizes gays and lesbians) members and the GLBTQIA community outside of Mormonism -- I guess Mormons have to take their bullshit ideas of love and marriage on the road and impose them on the rest of the world.

As a straight nevermo, I don't have any personal experience to draw from, but I get by with a lot of help from my friends. Today I will be joined by three guest bloggers, all ex-Mormons with first-hand experience of Mormon ashattery and dumbfuckery when it comes to sexual preference, gender expression and gender identity.

We'll be publishing a post at least every half hour; personal story posts will be published every fifteen minutes.

Expect:

1. Some background on LDS doctrine w/r/t the three levels of heaven and why GLBTQ folks who do not consummate hetero temple marriages will not get into the highest level of heaven;

2. Notable quotes about GLBTQ folks from church leaders;

3. A discussion about the excommunication of GLBTQ members;

4. A comparison of the process of acceptance of sexual identity and the process of leaving Mormonism written by an exMormon marriage and family therapist;

5. The despicable history of Evergreen, past and present, including BYU aversion torture;

6. An overview of Mormons and Prop 8 meddling;

7. Stories of church-induced suicide and violence;

8. To learn about how the church pressures members to marry someone of the opposite sex even if a member is out to the local church authorities; and

9. Personal stories posted by GLBTQ exmormons

We've got a lot of ground to cover, and our posts won't be exhaustive, but we will provide you with the ability to continue your study of this fucked up bullshit if you so choose. Connell O'Donovan has crafted a well-researched and comprehensive book, "The Abominable and Detestable Crime Against Nature": A Revised History of Homosexuality & Mormonism, 1840-1980, revised in 2004. We can't come close to providing you with the depth and breadth of information and analysis Connell O'Donovan provides, and I encourage you to read further at his site.

So, thank you for joining us, we hope you learn something useful, and please feel free to comment, correct, challenge and vent. The anonymous commenting option is open, and comments are not moderated.